I want to continue documenting some of the incidents in which God has guided us, provided for us and spoken to us since my diagnosis. This week, I’m going to risk sharing something that I have felt in my heart for some time now but have never attempted to verbalise. My desire to do so now was prompted by a comment made by one of Nicky’s cousins last week at a family gathering.
I share this in humility to make a point. Nicky’s cousin said something to the effect of, “I just don’t understand why God would allow something like this to happen to someone who is serving Him and doing so much good.” I appreciate her compliment, and understand her argument. I think it comes down to the much-asked question, “How can a good God allow His people to suffer?”
Many books have been written on this subject, and I’m not going to attempt to condense them all into one blog post. However, as I wrote earlier, I do want to present a personal perspective on this question.
My perspective comes from the stories of Joe and Job. In the account of Jesus healing the man born blind, we are not told the name of man who was healed. He was just your average ‘Joe’ trying to make it in spite of some difficult circumstances. Like Nicky’s cousin, Jesus’ disciples had the mindset that bad things should only happen to bad people, so they asked, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Job had the same experience when his friends insisted that he must have done something wrong to deserve all his tragedy.
Jesus’ reply to His disciples reveals a different perspective. He said, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.” Looking at this reply from the old perspective, one would think it cruel of God to allow this man to suffer so many years of blindness. But look with me from the new perspective and think, “What an honour God bestowed upon this young man, that he would become the vehicle through which God would accomplish some very important purposes—important enough to be recorded in John’s Gospel!”
I believe that some of God’s purposes could only be accomplished by someone with my unique set of experiences, circumstances and gifts. The same is true of everyone. Now here comes the risky part: I genuinely feel honoured that God has chosen me to be the one through which He is accomplishing those purposes.
God has already accomplished so much through my illness that even if He doesn’t heal me, it will have been worth it. But I believe He will heal me—not because I’m a ‘good’ person, but to accomplish more of His purposes in and through me. That’s why I now pray more for the time after I am healed than for healing itself.
28 February 2009
24 February 2009
THE SPIRITUAL ASPECT – No. 5
I’ve often written about how God has guided us, provided for us and spoken to us since my diagnosis in July 2006. In the next several posts I want to document some of these incidents. I trust that these accounts will prove to be encouraging for you to read. I also anticipate that it will be a very valuable exercise for me to review all the evidence of God’s hand on us throughout this time.
No series of events is more indicative of God intervening in our circumstances than the story of how we have been able to remain living in the flat where we have lived since 1997. Soon after I was diagnosed, Nicky and I began to plan ahead based on a quite bleak prognosis. One of the first things we had to consider was where we would live. Staying where we were, on the third floor of a block of flats with no lift (elevator, for the American readers), just wasn’t an option. So we began looking around for alternatives.
After looking at several places, none of which were suitable, we started feeling a bit discouraged. One particularly unsuccessful afternoon, we decided to call it a day and take in a movie. Nicky agreed to see ‘Superman Returns with me (a real labour of love!), so we bought our tickets, grabbed some popcorn and settled into our seats. It didn’t take long for Nicky to lose interest in the movie (I can’t imagine why), so she started a conversation with God. It went something like this:
Nicky: “Come on, Lord! Please help us find the right place to stay. We’ve looked at so many, and nothing has been suitable.”
God: “But I never told you to move.”
Nicky: “Okay, but in order to stay where we are, we’d have to have a lift installed, and that’s impossible!”
God: “Mmmm…”
When we got home, Nicky told me about what God had said, and the next day we started investigating. I had always known that there was an unused lift shaft next to the stairway in our building, but no one seemed to know why the lift was never installed. The existing shaft was a huge blessing, but in our investigation we also discovered that the total cost of installation would be around R300,000 (about US$40,000)., and that before installation could begin, we would need the approval of the owners of all 30 sectional title apartments.
Nicky and I began visiting all of the owners one-by-one, asking for their signature on two separate letters, one saying simply that they were in favour of installing a lift in the complex, the other dealing with the financial matters associated with the installation. God’s favour was on us as all 30 owners gave their approval for the lift to be installed, and all but one owner agreed to contribute the necessary funds according to the financial plan we presented. In addition we later received a donation to cover the full amount outstanding due to the one owner who had declined to contribute.
In May of 2007, 10 months after “Superman Returns” and right at the point where it was becoming impossible for me to climb the stairs, we took our first ride in the new lift! God is indeed good!
No series of events is more indicative of God intervening in our circumstances than the story of how we have been able to remain living in the flat where we have lived since 1997. Soon after I was diagnosed, Nicky and I began to plan ahead based on a quite bleak prognosis. One of the first things we had to consider was where we would live. Staying where we were, on the third floor of a block of flats with no lift (elevator, for the American readers), just wasn’t an option. So we began looking around for alternatives.
After looking at several places, none of which were suitable, we started feeling a bit discouraged. One particularly unsuccessful afternoon, we decided to call it a day and take in a movie. Nicky agreed to see ‘Superman Returns with me (a real labour of love!), so we bought our tickets, grabbed some popcorn and settled into our seats. It didn’t take long for Nicky to lose interest in the movie (I can’t imagine why), so she started a conversation with God. It went something like this:
Nicky: “Come on, Lord! Please help us find the right place to stay. We’ve looked at so many, and nothing has been suitable.”
God: “But I never told you to move.”
Nicky: “Okay, but in order to stay where we are, we’d have to have a lift installed, and that’s impossible!”
God: “Mmmm…”
When we got home, Nicky told me about what God had said, and the next day we started investigating. I had always known that there was an unused lift shaft next to the stairway in our building, but no one seemed to know why the lift was never installed. The existing shaft was a huge blessing, but in our investigation we also discovered that the total cost of installation would be around R300,000 (about US$40,000)., and that before installation could begin, we would need the approval of the owners of all 30 sectional title apartments.
Nicky and I began visiting all of the owners one-by-one, asking for their signature on two separate letters, one saying simply that they were in favour of installing a lift in the complex, the other dealing with the financial matters associated with the installation. God’s favour was on us as all 30 owners gave their approval for the lift to be installed, and all but one owner agreed to contribute the necessary funds according to the financial plan we presented. In addition we later received a donation to cover the full amount outstanding due to the one owner who had declined to contribute.
In May of 2007, 10 months after “Superman Returns” and right at the point where it was becoming impossible for me to climb the stairs, we took our first ride in the new lift! God is indeed good!
17 February 2009
THE EMOTIONAL ASPECT – No. 4
We all have preferences. And we all have a range of ways in which we express those preferences. When people feel very strongly about their preferences, we call them insistent, and in extreme cases, dogmatic control freaks. When people do not express their preferences very strongly, we say that they are easy-going, and in extreme cases, label them as doormats.
I think I’ve become more insistent about those preferences over which I still have some degree of control. But as I have become more dependent upon others for basic functions, I have, out of necessity, become more easy-going in those areas. I prefer showering to bathing. I prefer my clothes cupboard to be arranged a certain way. I prefer my hair and nails to be done a certain way. The list goes on. All of these are preferences of which I’ve relinquished control.
I believe that one of the reasons some people in similar circumstances become angry and bitter is that they don’t release those preferences and instead become more dogmatic about them. This is an understandable reaction to the feeling that one is losing control, but is also detrimental to oneself and to others.
On the contrary, a vast majority of the people that I have encountered in similar circumstances to my own display a remarkable degree of peace. I believe one of the keys to this is the ability to release the preferences that are actually not very important.
Finally, I want to emphasize that God’s grace is a huge factor in being able to cope with releasing these preferences. Without His supernatural help, I don’t think I’d be able to do it, and I certainly wouldn’t have the peace of mind and heart that I have now.
I think I’ve become more insistent about those preferences over which I still have some degree of control. But as I have become more dependent upon others for basic functions, I have, out of necessity, become more easy-going in those areas. I prefer showering to bathing. I prefer my clothes cupboard to be arranged a certain way. I prefer my hair and nails to be done a certain way. The list goes on. All of these are preferences of which I’ve relinquished control.
I believe that one of the reasons some people in similar circumstances become angry and bitter is that they don’t release those preferences and instead become more dogmatic about them. This is an understandable reaction to the feeling that one is losing control, but is also detrimental to oneself and to others.
On the contrary, a vast majority of the people that I have encountered in similar circumstances to my own display a remarkable degree of peace. I believe one of the keys to this is the ability to release the preferences that are actually not very important.
Finally, I want to emphasize that God’s grace is a huge factor in being able to cope with releasing these preferences. Without His supernatural help, I don’t think I’d be able to do it, and I certainly wouldn’t have the peace of mind and heart that I have now.
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