I want to continue documenting some of the incidents of how God has guided us, provided for us and spoken to us since my diagnosis in July 2006. For all of our married life, Nicky and I have depended on God to provide for us financially in full-time ministry. He has done so faithfully through a variety of means, but primarily through the generosity of family and friends.
Since my diagnosis, our financial needs have increased significantly. To enable me to continue my work at the school, we had to purchase a motorised wheelchair. This enabled me to attend meetings, visit classrooms and interact with pupils. It also provided greater independence outside of school hours. We then needed a vehicle that was able to transport the wheelchair, which weighs around 90 kilograms. We were able to make these two purchases because of God’s provision through some very special people…
Nicky’s uncle, Eddie Eckstein, is the leader of a well-known band in South Africa called The Bats. Since my diagnosis, Eddie and the other members of the band had been offering to do a benefit concert for me. Now with these expenses looming before us, Nicky and I decided to take them up on their offer.
After much prayer and deliberation, we decided on a venue that could seat 950. And thanks to the hard work of some very dedicated friends and family members, we sold out! Many people who couldn’t be there on the night of the event gave a donation instead. That evening alone, we raised enough money to enable us to purchase the vehicle, and made a memory that I will never forget!
Thanks to the generosity of even more people, we have been able to purchase the motorised wheelchair, purchase the head mouse that enables me to use the computer, and afford having a caregiver 24/7. One friend heard about my need, immediately approached his Round Table branch and secured a sizable donation towards the wheelchair. Family members stepped in to cover the entire cost of the head mouse. Other friends heard that we were struggling to afford the caregiver and offered to cover as much of that expense as necessary each month.
As you can see, God has indeed worked through many sources to provide for our needs. And we are so grateful to Him and to all who have given so generously.
18 April 2009
10 April 2009
THE EMOTIONAL ASPECT – No. 5
I’m going to take a detour from the spiritual aspect thread I’ve been following and jump to the emotional aspect. This week I was writing to a friend who is also suffering from a debilitating illness. I found myself sharing quite vulnerably about two emotional traps that I have fallen into from time to time. As it could provide some insight for you into my thoughts, I will share an except from that letter…
‘I don’t know much about [your particular situation], but I do know something about having a debilitating illness. I will speak vulnerably now, and ask you to see if there might be some similarity with your situation.
‘There are two dangerous traps that I have to keep an eye out for constantly. And to be honest, I fall into both of them more often than I’d like to admit. The first trap is using my illness as an excuse not to do something that is difficult or that I don’t feel like doing. It’s a trap because it’s so easy to get away with and can so easily become a habit that I don’t consciously realise that I’m doing. It’s dangerous because it is manipulative of others and steals opportunities from me.
‘The second trap is even more subtle. It’s the enjoyment I get from all the attention I receive due to my illness. This attention comes in many forms: sympathy, admiration, respect, communication, etc. The attention isn’t a trap, but the enjoyment I get from it is because it fuels my ego and feeds my inherent need for acceptance and recognition. It’s dangerous because, unbelievable as it may sound, it provides a surprisingly strong motivation not to get well.’
I don’t for a moment think that everyone facing serious illness also struggles with these two emotional traps. But they are very real for me and, I suspect, more than a few others. The way I have found to deal effectively with these two traps is this: Prayer. Prayer reminds me that, as Rick Warren put it, “It’s not about me.” When I pray, things are put back into perspective. Selfish motives are exposed, I am reminded of the love and acceptance freely given by God, and my desire to serve Him (rather than self) is restored. What a powerful thing prayer is!
‘I don’t know much about [your particular situation], but I do know something about having a debilitating illness. I will speak vulnerably now, and ask you to see if there might be some similarity with your situation.
‘There are two dangerous traps that I have to keep an eye out for constantly. And to be honest, I fall into both of them more often than I’d like to admit. The first trap is using my illness as an excuse not to do something that is difficult or that I don’t feel like doing. It’s a trap because it’s so easy to get away with and can so easily become a habit that I don’t consciously realise that I’m doing. It’s dangerous because it is manipulative of others and steals opportunities from me.
‘The second trap is even more subtle. It’s the enjoyment I get from all the attention I receive due to my illness. This attention comes in many forms: sympathy, admiration, respect, communication, etc. The attention isn’t a trap, but the enjoyment I get from it is because it fuels my ego and feeds my inherent need for acceptance and recognition. It’s dangerous because, unbelievable as it may sound, it provides a surprisingly strong motivation not to get well.’
I don’t for a moment think that everyone facing serious illness also struggles with these two emotional traps. But they are very real for me and, I suspect, more than a few others. The way I have found to deal effectively with these two traps is this: Prayer. Prayer reminds me that, as Rick Warren put it, “It’s not about me.” When I pray, things are put back into perspective. Selfish motives are exposed, I am reminded of the love and acceptance freely given by God, and my desire to serve Him (rather than self) is restored. What a powerful thing prayer is!
02 April 2009
THE SPIRITUAL ASPECT – No. 8
As I wrote in my last post, I have written often about the fact that we believe God has said He is going to heal me of ALS/MND. I have often wondered when and where this healing may take place. Twice since my diagnosis we have had great expectations for receiving my healing at a specific event. The first took place about a year ago, and second happened recently. Having written about the first event in the previous post, I’ll now describe the details of the second event…
Our church often hosts leaders from other churches with whom we have a close relationship. One such leader was scheduled to visit recently. There was great anticipation among the members of the church, since this particular man is known to have been used often by God in the miraculous. The whole church fasted and prayed each Tuesday leading up to the weekend of his visit. Our faith was stirred, and we were all expectant of seeing God performing signs and wonders through His servant.
We had meetings on Sunday morning and evening, and we all experienced an almost tangible manifestation of the presence of God in both meetings. During the morning meeting he prayed for me, and then a group of people from our church gathered around me and continued praying prayers of faith for my healing. One man even brought his video recorder determined to capture my healing on video!
The group around me kept praying quite a long time. But despite our high level of faith, the healing didn’t take place.
Again, in this instance, a part of me was disappointed at not receiving my healing immediately, but at no point did I lose the hope of being healed. And again, I came away from this experience with many things:
Our church often hosts leaders from other churches with whom we have a close relationship. One such leader was scheduled to visit recently. There was great anticipation among the members of the church, since this particular man is known to have been used often by God in the miraculous. The whole church fasted and prayed each Tuesday leading up to the weekend of his visit. Our faith was stirred, and we were all expectant of seeing God performing signs and wonders through His servant.
We had meetings on Sunday morning and evening, and we all experienced an almost tangible manifestation of the presence of God in both meetings. During the morning meeting he prayed for me, and then a group of people from our church gathered around me and continued praying prayers of faith for my healing. One man even brought his video recorder determined to capture my healing on video!
The group around me kept praying quite a long time. But despite our high level of faith, the healing didn’t take place.
Again, in this instance, a part of me was disappointed at not receiving my healing immediately, but at no point did I lose the hope of being healed. And again, I came away from this experience with many things:
- I am even more certain that God is going to heal me on this side of eternity!
- I have been blown away by the love and compassion of so many people who are so desperate to see me healed and restored.
- I am convinced that this illness is as much a test of the faith of our church (and the many other people praying for me) as it is a test of my faith.
- I believe that every time an individual or a group prays for me, the healing is one step closer; but I also believe that the healing will be a spontaneous event not taking place amidst a lot of hype and fanfare.
- It has reinforced my conviction not to look to any individual as the source of healing, but only to God.
- It has made me even more determined to seek the Giver as well as His gift of healing.
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