THE EMOTIONAL ASPECT – No. 5

I’m going to take a detour from the spiritual aspect thread I’ve been following and jump to the emotional aspect. This week I was writing to a friend who is also suffering from a debilitating illness. I found myself sharing quite vulnerably about two emotional traps that I have fallen into from time to time. As it could provide some insight for you into my thoughts, I will share an except from that letter…

‘I don’t know much about [your particular situation], but I do know something about having a debilitating illness. I will speak vulnerably now, and ask you to see if there might be some similarity with your situation.

‘There are two dangerous traps that I have to keep an eye out for constantly. And to be honest, I fall into both of them more often than I’d like to admit. The first trap is using my illness as an excuse not to do something that is difficult or that I don’t feel like doing. It’s a trap because it’s so easy to get away with and can so easily become a habit that I don’t consciously realise that I’m doing. It’s dangerous because it is manipulative of others and steals opportunities from me.

‘The second trap is even more subtle. It’s the enjoyment I get from all the attention I receive due to my illness. This attention comes in many forms: sympathy, admiration, respect, communication, etc. The attention isn’t a trap, but the enjoyment I get from it is because it fuels my ego and feeds my inherent need for acceptance and recognition. It’s dangerous because, unbelievable as it may sound, it provides a surprisingly strong motivation not to get well.’

I don’t for a moment think that everyone facing serious illness also struggles with these two emotional traps. But they are very real for me and, I suspect, more than a few others. The way I have found to deal effectively with these two traps is this: Prayer. Prayer reminds me that, as Rick Warren put it, “It’s not about me.” When I pray, things are put back into perspective. Selfish motives are exposed, I am reminded of the love and acceptance freely given by God, and my desire to serve Him (rather than self) is restored. What a powerful thing prayer is!